


Seeing Through

by Kimmy



Series: Every End is a New Beginning [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Deruned Alec Lightwood, Difficult Decisions, Domestic, F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Identity Reveal, Immortality, M/M, Mundane Alec Lightwood, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reunions, Warlock Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-10-03 10:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10242389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmy/pseuds/Kimmy
Summary: When The Clave finds out he is gay, Alec Lightwood is stripped of his runes and he has to learn to live his life as a mundane.He starts university, builds a life for himself, and then, he meets Magnus Bane. He's amazing, sparkly, and there are things Alec doesn't know about him...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a spin-off from my story "Starting Over", one you asked for - if you remember it's idea no. 4 from under chapter 23 (in version A, as there will be two versions) - there is no need to know that one to understand this, but if you have time, I will encourage you to do so ;P  
> It will be less fluffy than "Starting Over" was. It will still be fluffy, but some seriously heavy dilemmas await our boys.  
> Happy ending promised, to those who need assurance.

“Can I say goodbye to my siblings?”

 

“No. They will be told you were killed in action.”

 

Alec wanted to protest but he knew he wouldn’t achieve anything.

 

“Then can I take any of my belongings at least?”

 

“No. It’s not like you have anything but clothing.”

 

Alec tried not to say something scathing to that.

 

“Just one thing then?”

 

“...What?”

 

“My bow and quiver. There is nothing magical about them, I rune them every time for a mission, temporarily. Please.”

 

“Alright. But you leave the jacket.”

 

“WHAT THE… Okay. Okay, take the fucking jacket! Leave me shirtless and runeless on the streets, but I take my bow and quiver.”

 

“Great. Now that we set the rules we can proceed.”

 

***

It happens on a day like any other.

 

Sometimes, Alec thinks that it’s strange that it’s not even raining, that the whole world doesn’t seem gloomy and dark and that nothing in the air would suggest what’s coming.

 

They just come and tell him someone saw him kissing a mundane boy and that’s it.

 

Alec, too shocked by the confrontation, doesn’t really deny it.

 

And so, it’s out of the bag.

 

No trial, no paperwork, nothing.

 

Just like they say, he was simply killed in action. Nothing to worry about for Alec. They will get rid of him, and all he has to do is lay there obediently taking their kicks.  They will derune him and he will no longer be a Shadowhunter. They will deal with the rest.

 

He has to take care of himself after that.

 

He can go and kill himself for all they care.

 

But Alec? Alec isn’t that easily broken.

 

***

He barely had the time to take that jacket off before someone grabbed it and he was seized, his arms forcefully twisted behind his back, none too gently.

 

The led him to a room Alec has never been to before, dark and foreboding, with nothing in it but a long medical table that looked almost like an altar, door that must have led to an alley behind the institute and a small window with bars.

 

He was pushed on the table, his ankles strapped to the legs of it as someone tore his t-shirt away from his body.

 

He struggled, but stayed silent, glaring at them as they tied his arms too, too tight and cutting off the circulation and he only managed to spot his shirt hanging on his bow that was propped in the corner because suddenly someone was forcing a rag down his throat and Alec screamed, he screamed into the fabric and tears were streaming down his face and it _hurt._

 

Each and every one of them hurt tenfold compared to what it felt like putting them on.

 

The temporary runes were quick.

 

The permanent ones, not so.

 

Alec could feel blood on his wrists and ankles as he struggled, shaken by pain, his throat hoarse and choking, unable to properly swallow with the gag in.

 

The deflect rune, with its unfortunate placing on his neck, was hell.

 

Alec still remembered how much it hurt to put it on.

 

But having it stripped off? That was a new kind of agony altogether.

 

Alec blacked out.

 

What brought him back to consciousness, was a pain even worse.

 

He was naked from waist up, all his runes gone now but the woman’s stele was back on his body, Alec’s eyes wet as they followed it, sobs shaking his body as pain that was not purely physical, pain indescribable spread through his body.

 

As so, the parabatai rune was gone too.

 

And as it was gone, it was as if it was never there.

 

He would have thought that it would feel empty or hurt. And it did, but it felt different than he expected. He just… couldn’t remember what having Jace physically _there_ felt like suddenly.

 

It wasn't the familiar kind of emptiness threatening to drown him when Jace was severely hurt and close to death... No, this wasn't a feeling of a broken bond. The Bond was just... Not there. And it was a thousand times worse.

 

It rendered Alec numb, the pain still there, making him shiver as they untied him and barely gave him time to grab his bow and quiver, hot even bothering to put the shirt on, just holding to it on dear life as they literally threw him out of the door and shut them with finality.

 

And so, Alec was no longer a Shadowhunter.

 

He had no idea how long he sat there, aching and crying and cold, but when he finally managed to get his shirt on and stand up, he could feel nothing but numb.

 

Strangely, he wasn’t devastated.

 

With surprise, he realized there wasn’t anything in the Shadow World he would miss except for Jace and Izzy. He was different than them, he didn’t have their passion for demon hunting. He did it out of duty.

 

And so, with slight surprise, Alec realized that he would miss his siblings, but besides that, exiting the Shadow World suddenly felt more like… exciting. Liberating.

 

Alec felt relieved and light. And for once, like he had nothing on his shoulders.

 

He just need to work out how to live his life now that he could choose the way himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait, this sounds familiar? Could this be chapter 1 of "Starting Over"? I am horrible tease, I know. But chapter 2 will actually be already different. Subscribe and don't hate me?


	2. Chapter 2

“Alexander Lightwood. The golden child of Robert and Maryse. Why don’t you go away? I have no business with Nephilim unless it’s via official channels and involves large amounts of money.”

 

Alec put his hand of the door before it could slam shut.

 

“Ragnor. Just. Look at me, please.”

 

Only then did the man who took the position of High Warlock of Brooklyn a few years ago open the door fully, his expression still grumpy but his eyes now focused on Alec.

 

The boy was still in nothing but short sleeved t-shirt, quiver at his back and a bow in hand.

 

And his skin was smooth.

 

“Where are your runes?”

 

“Add two to two.”

 

Not asking for permission, Alec entered the flat, leaving his weapon by the door and heading for the sofa, wrapping himself in the huge fluffy blanket that covered it.

 

“You were stripped of your runes.”

 

Ragnor sounded shocked, his voice husky and weak.

 

“Why?”

 

Alec put his head down in shame.

 

“Because they realised I’m homosexual.”

 

“They stripped you of your runes because you’re gay?”

 

Ragnor sounded disbelieving.

 

“Yes. Yes, because that’s how it works. There cannot be a gay Shadowhunter. I would bring shame to the whole race and dishonour to my family. Who now believes I’m dead. Which is why I’m here. Ragnor, please, I need to somehow tell Jace and Izzy the truth.”

 

“Alec…”

 

“Ragnor, please.”

 

Ragnor knew the Lightwood kids well. Whenever he had business in The Institute Maryse would simply sign the check and her children would be the ones to actually deal with him. He knew them well and respected them, saw them for the new generation that they were. They treated Downworlders like people and believed in justice.

 

They had potential to change things.

 

But Ragnor had seen them after little Max died despite all he and Catarina tried.

 

And Ragnor knew they would be just as hurt by Alec’s “death” but he wasn’t sure they could keep fighting for the new world if they knew what The Clave did. Not yet.

 

He wasn’t sure they could fake that kind of grief for The Clave’s spies’ eyes either.

 

“Alec, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 

And he knew that that the boy knew it too, deep down, but hearing it out loud broke him and the former Shadowhunter broke down crying into his couch pillows.

 

Ragnor left him to grieve the loss of his old life alone, gave him space while he went to the kitchen to prepare some tea and a dinner for the boy, who was without doubt in horrible physical condition.

 

He had seen how much deruneing hurt, and for someone as sensitive as Alec and someone who had a parabatai?

 

Ragnor couldn’t imagine what this young man went through.

 

He left the tea and a bowl of chilli on the table for Alec, who has fallen asleep in his exhausted state, and charmed them to stay warm while he got to work.

 

He never got along with Nephilim or Lightwoods even but their kids were good people and he would be damned if he didn’t help Alec as much as he could.

 

That was how Alec Lightwood, the Shadowhunter, became Alexander Lightwood, a 20 year old student at NYU, orphaned  two years prior due to a car accident in which his siblings died too.

 

Ragnor made sure Alec had an ID, social security number, a whole mundane identity.

 

He helped Alec get a basic understanding of the more different aspects of the mundane world and did his magic to get Alec a scholarship so he would afford living in the dorms while he focused on his studies and finding a job.

 

To his surprise, Alec took to mundane world like a duck to the water.

 

The boy laughed at the comparison muttering something about Jace’s heritage and told him how much he hated Shadowhunting sometimes. He liked this new, free life better.

 

He just wished he could share it with Jace and Isabelle.

 

It was visible in every fibre of his body, how much he missed them, but Ragnor was surprised to realise they were they only ones Alec missed. He had no love left for his own parents, any of his colleagues, the world he was raised in.

 

He missed his siblings.

 

But he didn’t miss the Shadow World.

 

Ragnor was surprised to discover that when the applications time has come, Alec living in Ragnor’s spare bedroom until then, the boy had chosen chemistry as his major.

 

It was surprising considering it was always lovely Isabelle's field, but it also suited Alec's analytic nature, and ina way tied him back to his family when he was brutally torn away from it.

 

He didn’t even really need much help getting the scholarship.

 

Unlike in the Shadow World where people pretended he was invisible, in the mundane world everyone who came across Alexander Lightwood was charmed by him.

 

Soon, Alec was out of Ragnor’s hair, living his new mundane life in the NYU dorms as a chemistry student like any other, finding out he was also not bad at writing and quickly learning to make his own money by selling his articles to some magazines. It wasnt much, but enough to survive.

 

He made himself at home in the mundane world.

 

And then he met Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Em... The last two lines are different? Yes, I know I am awful, but I promise chapter 3 is completely new, like brand new, not a line recycled.  
> Also, I realised I am a despicable human being who forgot Chairman Meow in "Starting Over" so I promise he will get his own fic. Maybe a 5+1? Any ideas for a deruned!Alec AU Chairman fic? Throw your prompts!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, a completely new and not copied chapter! (Sadly next one will be copied, just with changes, again, but it will be the last one.)  
> Before you are confused by what you are reading... I changed Magnus' backstory. Obviously. Especially Camille parts.  
> Now... Enjoy.

He’d been in New York for a few decades when he met her.

 

At first, he went to London, because London had always been a dream of his. But London disappointed him.

 

London was full of bigots thinking they were better than anyone else. London was uninteresting in its looks, like a poor attempt at the grandiose charm of Italy squeezed in with something modern, grey and dull. But above all, London was foggy, rainy and cold.

 

Magnus had grown up in Indonesia, spent years with the Silent Brothers in Spain and then travelled through South America.

 

Magnus did  _ not  _ like being cold.

 

But then, Magnus visited New York.

 

It was a visit, nothing more, following a wish to see the city everyone was talking about. But a visit was enough for New York to steal his heart and soon enough, Magnus bought a loft in Brooklyn with the intention of never leaving.

 

And after a few decades in New York, Magnus met Camille.

 

She was like the sun. Too bright for him, a mere human, to look at. Tall, slim, with a perfect body and luscious blonde hair, her skin was alabaster and she had a permanent expression of superiority on her face; she was like a goddess, beautiful but intimidating. She was polite and gentle and always looked at Magnus as if they shared a secret.

 

Magnus was blinded by her light, unable to believe he was allowed to bask in her presence.

 

Their affair was full of passion, sex and luxury. It was all parties and banquets, expensive galas and dinners in famous restaurants, nights spent at luscious hotels because Camille didn’t like Magnus’ loft and didn’t want her family to know about him. 

 

And Magnus, sweet, innocent and so naively in love, didn’t see a problem with it, instead he enjoyed the clandestine nature of their relationship.

 

***

 

Before Camille, Magnus was in countless relationships but they always felt temporary, little but fun while they waited for someone else to come along. 

 

Even Etta, who spent her whole life with him, seemed to only be with him because there wasn’t anyone else. 

 

He thought Camille was finally it. True love, the one and only, the one for now and forever.

 

He thought Camille was different.

 

***

 

That night they were staying at Hotel DuMort, the night the vampires attacked.

 

They killed everyone but the two of them, torturing Magnus for hours, delighting in the taste of his blood while Camille was getting drunk on theirs.

 

Eventually, they let them go.

 

But not before they turned her.

 

And at first, Magnus was delighted because she was immortal and they could spend forever together.

 

But Camille changed, or maybe she had just shown her true colours.

 

And Magnus, still blinded by the foolish illusion of love, didn’t see it, not until he had a ring in his pocket only to walk into Camille making love to some Russian mundane.

 

***

 

He always thought he didn’t deserve her.

 

In the end, she was the one who didn’t deserve him.

 

***

 

He stayed in New York for another month, eventually sending the ring to a young man who always looked longingly at jewellery shop’s windows but chose to pay rent instead, and whose girl wouldn’t tell him true love doesn’t exist.

 

And then, Magnus moved to Indonesia.

 

He didn’t really know why himself, thinking about his mother’s still body and water in his tiny lungs as he stepped out of the portal in the jungle near his home village.

 

Still, even with memories of the tragic and too-soon end of his childhood, Magnus loved Indonesia. He loved the older memories of loving parents, back when his eyes were still simply green and he loved the heat and the nature. If there was one thing he missed in New York, it was all that green. 

 

He magicked himself a hut in the middle of the jungle, next to a waterfall, and kept working on his body, his magic and his mind, trying to regain some balance and calm.

 

Even finding out that the Russian Camille left him for staked her, in a fire message from the New York clan leader, didn’t help him achieve peace of mind. He spent a century there, surrounded by Indonesian nature, trying to find a sense of serenity and a cure for loneliness.

 

He didn’t.

 

***

 

He came back to New York for the celebrations of a new millennium, redecorated his loft (12 times), got a cat, caught up with what’s changed about the world, discovered the marvel that was glitter and then, after a few years of settling in, eventually got bored.

 

Which was how, one drunken night, he decided to enroll for a law degree.

 

University was sure to be a great experience to add to his list. 

 

But a few months in, as he realised the diploma actually required learning, he began to doubt if it was such a great idea.

 

And then he met Alec.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it is a copy of ch3 of "Starting Over", but please notice a change in Alec's course.   
> And it was the last one! From now on, all new chapters! And remember to check out chapter 3, which was new, so you don't get confused later!

Alec settled into his new life pretty well, all things considering, but it still felt weird and temporary.

 

He still expected to see Jace looking for something in his room when he woke up or to see Izzy when he turned around because someone called his name.

 

He liked being a mundane and he liked studying, but it still felt fragile. Like it was just a vacation, like he was fooling himself he could have it.

 

He wanted Jace and Izzy back but he also wanted this life, free of demons and pressure.

 

In a few months he has been a student he realized that his course of choice might not have been the best idea and has been introduced to the new idea of stress, induced not by demon hunting and Nephilim society expectations, but fear of having problems finding employment.

 

Having been a soldier, however, Alec has known worse and didn’t really feel that anxiety.

 

He would be happy working in a coffee shop as long as it paid his bills and allowed him to enjoy a free afternoon watching a good movie or reading a book.

 

The kind of anxiety he has discovered and felt painfully hard though, was social anxiety.

 

Turns out unlike in the Shadow World, mundane world included a lot of human interaction.

 

_Even with strangers._

 

Thankfully, soon Alec learned to give a closed off, isolated vibe and people stopped trying to talk to him without a reason. His fellow students even accepted him into their inner circle, having him sit with them and listen or turn off, not expected to speak up.

 

It was quite nice.

 

But still, Alec prefered to be alone with his books and laptop.

 

He took liking to a tiny bookshop cafe on the campus  and had taken to spending days there, buying 3 or 4 cups of tea in a row until the girl behind the counter stopped even asking and just brought him a new cup the moment he ran out.

 

He liked the place. It became _his_ place soon. Barely anyone ever came there, and sometimes Alec even wondered how come they managed not to bankrupt, but he didn’t question it. Especially since even though he was no longer a Shadowhunter, he was Nephilim, and that meant even as a mundane he had the Sight.

 

So it didn’t slip his attention when the girl once put her hair behind a very _pointed_ ear.

 

It wasn’t his place to question it and he liked her, so he just tried to believe the cafe had been very busy with clients at every hour when he wasn’t there.

 

There was this one time he thought he saw another person leaving the cafe as he was going in its direction. Maybe he wasn’t the only client.

 

Sitting at his table now, his notebook with some half finished notes in front of him, Alec discovered there there were, indeed, other people who knew about that place.

 

The man sat in front of him at the other chair at his table smiling brightly and explaining that this was the only free seat, do you mind if I join you?

 

Alec raised an unimpressed eyebrow at the guy, pointedly looking at all 4 other tables completely empty around them and took his pencil out of his mouth, nodding in agreement.

 

So maybe the guy was weird but Alec still had some manners. He put the pencil down on his notebook and smiled sheepishly.

 

The guy extended his hand to Alec, narrowly missing the teapot.

 

“Hi, I’m Magnus. Don’t know if you figured it out yet but I just needed an excuse to talk to you.”

 

He winked and Alec found himself laughing freely for the first time since he last saw Izzy and Jace.

 

It was as if something clicked.

 

“Hi. I’m Alec.”

 

“It just seemed weird, youo know? To take another table when it’s only the two of us here anyway. Is Alec short for Alexander?”

 

Alec nodded, still smiling shyly while the man ranted on.

 

“Well, Alexander, if you don’t mind me calling you that, I noticed that we attend ethics together and I must admit I am intrigued because I will bet you a hundred you don’t study law like I do. What do you major in?”

 

Alec blushed, though he wasn’t sure why.

 

“Chemistry. It was always more of my sister's thing..." His zoned out for a moment but quickly got back. "But it intrigues me, and I it's easy to me so I can focus on what I enjoy. I attend a lot of other lectures just out of curiosity." He blushed a deep, pretty pink. "I just like ethics, I guess. It’s useful for someone whose course teaches them how to make explosives.”

 

“Oh, that’s so cute! Please feel free to tell me if I’m stepping out of line, I’m bisexual, a huge flirt and I have been informed many times in the past I lack a brain to mouth filter.”

 

Alec blushed harder, smiling widely at the man. He seemed nice. He seemed very nice.

 

“That’s not a problem. I am not good with words so you can talk for both of us. And I don’t really mind… the flirting. I mean. I’m… gay.”

 

Magnus’ smile turned positively predatory.

 

“Why, Alexander, that is very good news. Why don’t we get to know each other a bit better so it’s not weird if I ask you out on a date?”

 

Alex wondered what was a deeper colour - his red tea or his face.

 

“I wouldn’t mind if we got to know each other better… Maybe as friends first though?”

 

“That’s okay. I don’t want you feel pressured, I only meant it as a joke.” Magnus was still smiling, but there was something different about it and it made Alec feel sad. “I haven’t made too many friends here yet, and honestly I would love that if we got to know each other better.”

 

For some reason, Alec hurried to correct him. He was pretty sure he has never been this brave in his 20 years of life, even standing face to face with demons.

 

“No, it’s fine. I mean… I’d love to be friends with you. And maybe… more. Just let’s… get to know each other? And we can be friends and if it feels right then we can… be more?”

 

Alec closed his eyes and took a big breath in, but Magnus was glowing again.

 

“I’m up for that.” Yes. Alec could definitely stare at this smile for all enternity. “Now, Alexander, I have read in a very reliable source that was certainly not Buzzfeed--” Alec chuckled at that. “--that the best way to establish bonds between people is to ask each other questions that help you learn about each other. So do you have a hobby? I love to sew, for example.”

 

“Archery.” Alec answered with a smile, feeling like something beautiful has just began.

 

He wasn’t wrong.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been here for a while, huh? Well, my last exam is Monday so I shall be appearing more often soon ;) This will be updated somewhat regularly then and there's a sequel to Starting Over coming too ;)

“Alec…?”

 

Alec hummed.

 

“Alec…”

 

“Yes, Magnus?” 

 

He still didn’t look up from his book.

 

“Alec, pay attention to me.”

 

Magnus’ voice did  _ not _ come across as whiny, not  _ at all _ . Okay, maybe a bit. But it worked, Alec putting the book away with a sigh and looking at his boyfriend, raising an unimpressed eyebrow to show his displeasure, but failing miserably since he smiled involuntarily the moment his eyes met the bright green ones.

 

“Yes, your highness?”

 

“Don’t mock me, Alexander. I have a very important question.”

 

“And what is it?”

 

Suddenly, Magnus, the one who was always confident and sure between the two of them, became flustered and actually blushed. When he spoke, his words were quiet and rushed, unusually so for him.

 

“Where are you going to live during the summer, Alexander?”

 

Alec sighed, biting his lip. He’s been thinking about it himself.

 

“I’m not sure. I don’t have any family… I don’t have a home here in NY. So I think I’ll try to get a job and rent something. What about you?”

 

When Magnus looked up at him, it was new light and determination shining in his eyes.

 

“I have a small apartment in Brooklyn that my grandmother left for me when she died. So I guess what I’m trying to ask is… And before you answer, I know it’s too fast but… Would you move in with me? Just as a test run, for the summer, and if it doesn’t work out, or we don’t work out…” His voice was tinged with sadness. “Then you can go back to dorms.”

 

But Alec just smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him.

 

“I would love to.”

 

When autumn came and uni started again, Alec did not go back to the dorms.

 

***

 

Their apartment was tiny, but enough for 2 people sharing a bed. They had a living room with a kitchenette and a bathroom big enough it fit a bathtub with a shower. It was perfect for them, and with his sense of style, Magnus transformed it into a stunning, cozy space. 

 

He even convinced Alec to repaint the walls a warm deep orange, which was surprisingly fun, and ended up in a steamy shower together.

 

During their second year together, when Alec was playing with explosives for fun, enjoying his course more and more every day, Magnus decided law was way to boring for him and dumped studying. 

 

At first Alec was agitated and angry with him, but Magnus quickly proved himself by getting a job in the cafe under their apartment. 

 

When halfway through their fourth year the cafe’s owner chose to close the place, Magnus  _ somehow _ convinced him to leave it to him, trying to get credit to be able to buy it, but instead ending up getting a warm smile, a hug and paper signing the ownership over to him.

 

Alec was inexplicable proud of his boyfriend, who, with a smirk on his face, promised to transform the cafe into something absolutely  _ magical _ .

 

And he did. Working on his thesis, Alec spent more time at “Magnusificient” (he told his boyfriend the name was stupid but the clients took to it) than at their apartment.

 

So when he finally got a diploma, he was sure he knew what he wanted to do next.

 

***

 

Magnus came home to a delicious smell of ginger and garlic all around the flat. In the living room, the coffee table was gone and in front of the couch, pushed a bit side, stood a circular table usually occupying the balcony, and on it two glasses of wine, a candle and a single red rose in a vase.

 

Magnus smiled, Alec entering the room with two plates of stir fry, putting them on the table and kissing Magnus hello.

 

He looked incredible, in a deep green cashmere sweater Magnus bought him for Christmas and simple black, fitted jeans.

 

They ate in silence, enjoying each other’s company and sharing stolen glances.

 

And then, plates empty and expressions satisfied, they stood up to share a toast with another glass of wine.

 

“To us.”

 

“To us.” 

 

Magnus smiled at Alec, moved by the romantic gesture, but then a sinking feeling of dread choked him as realised this wasn’t no occasion. This was something more.

 

Alec planned it.

 

He went down on one knee in front of stunned, terrified Magnus and smiling sweetly, opened a box to reveal a gold ring with a shining curled shape of infinity, a little diamond in one of its eyes.

 

God, Alec must have spent a fortune on it. It was gorgeous. Alec was gorgeous. The whole evening was amazing.

 

“Magnus Bane, will you make me the happiest man on Earth and do me the honour of marrying me?”

 

Feeling his heart shutter into a thousand tiny pieces, Magnus let the tears fall, turning his eyes away, unable to look at Alec.

 

“Alexander… We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember comments are life :*


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to have more scenes in this chapter but just this one was long and... satisfying enough I just decided to go with it. So, enjoy!

 

They sat on the couch, to the side, hidden from the open, well lit space of the living room and instead tucked into a dim, cozy corner. With irony in his thoughts, Magnus realised it was a great setting for sharing secrets.

 

If only those secrets didn’t have the potential to tear them apart.

 

“I love you, Alexander.”

 

“I know, Magnus.” Alec took his hands, squeezing them gently and smiling kindly, making Magnus’ heart break. “You never have to prove yourself to me. I love you.”

 

Silence fell between them, familiar and comfortable and yet strangely tense at the same time. Magnus wanted to speak up, knew he had to, but his heart was beating to fast, his throat was dry…

 

“I know marriage is not for everyone…”

 

“No!” His words were too loud, too rushed, too desperate. But Magnus felt no shame. Magnus needed Alec to  _ know _ .

 

“I want…  _ nothing _ more than I want to marry you. I want to say yes, I want to marry you so badly, Alec. But… There are things you need to know about me before we can do this, Alec.”

 

Alec’s eyes were full of confusion, but also compassion and support. Magnus hated it, hated himself, hated that yet again, here he was, at the  _ end _ .

 

“Magnus, whatever it is, it doesn’t matter…”

 

“You can’t talk like that.” His words were more sharp and scathing than he intended, but he heard this sentence too many times already. He let go of Alec’s hands and stood up, going to the balcony door and opening it wide, breathing in the cold evening air.

 

“You can’t talk like that when you don’t  _ know _ , Alexander. You think you do, but you don’t. They all thought so too.” 

 

Alec joined him on the balcony, taking his hand again but not saying a word, giving Magnus reassurance, but leaving him space.

 

“I love you, Alexander. I want you to understand that. You can’t fully grasp how much this means to me, but I have never loved anyone the way I loved you, and I loved a lot of people in the time I’ve been alive.”

 

Alec let him go on, not interrupting, not questioning words that felt too deep and profound for a man in his twenties.

 

Unsure how to proceed, Magnus suddenly fell silent, at loss for words. He turned away from Alec, choosing in the end the most direct approach, sparing himself the pain, since that would be what happened in the end anyway.

 

In the end, Alec would run away from the monster, like everyone did.

 

He dropped the glamour, and turned around, eyes downcast but still very much on display, liquid golden, almond shaped, cat like.

 

Alec was silent, and for a moment, Magnus was confused, wondering why he couldn’t hear screaming or retreating steps, but then something strange happened.

 

He didn’t realize he was crying until gentle fingers brushed the tears away from his cheek, lifted his chin and made him look at him.

 

He didn’t say anything, just brought their lips together in sweet, long, painfully slow kiss, a torture of sugary moments and broken man’s tears.

 

“Magnus Bane. Let me repeat my question. Will you marry me?”

 

“I…” He tried to speak, but words got stuck in his throat, so instead he just nodded, desperately, willingly, with everything he head. He fell into Alec’s embrace, sobbing into his shoulder, Alec tracing slow circles on his back.

 

“Shhh…. It’s gonna be alright. Now let’s sleep till noon, then have late morning engagement sex and we can talk about the Shadow World tomorrow.”

 

“Tomorrow.” Magnus choked out, not going to try and burst the bubble of the inexplicable miracle that happened when instead of another rejection, Magnus, for the first time in four centuries, got a chance at love.

 

A miracle happened, and Alec Lightwood was that miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's play a game "Who spotted the quote?" ;)  
> And who's the sap? I'm the sap!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it looks like if I don't find my chill we'll have to get used to this one scene ends up being a whole chapter thing and probably change chapter count too. And since my chill was lost long ago and I still haven't seen it anywhere... Yeah, get used to it. I don't know if it's good or bad, but here it is. Enjoy! And let me know what you think.

 

Magnus woke up slowly, in peace, coming to consciousness under the stuffy covers in the semi-darkness of the room to the feeling of being stared at. He blinked his eyes open to have soft lips descent upon his, a familiar loving smirk in the mist behind his half open eyes.

 

“Hello, sleeping beauty.”

 

“Alexander…” The name was merely a sigh on his lips, a prayer. “You’re here.”

 

Alec hummed in agreement.

 

“Where else would I be but in the arms of the man I love?” Alec leaned in, whispering the rest in Magnus’ ear. “Besides, let me tell you a secret - I live here.”

 

Magnus chuckled involuntarily, closing his eyes and letting contentment wash over him for a second before answering Alec’s rhetorical question.

 

“Where would you be? Running away…”

 

“Magnus…” The words were quiet, desperate, heartbroken. “Who hurt you? They better be dead or I’ll kill them myself.”

 

Magnus’ laugh was everything but joyful, hollow, broken and empty.

 

“They’re long dead… So very long.”

 

“Magnus.” Alec always knew what to say, somehow, always seemed to know what Magnus was thinking. “Whatever they made you believe, I’m not going to let you keep thinking that. You’re a warlock, Magnus, not a monster.”

 

Magnus allowed him to draw him into a hug, letting the comfort of the embrace release the tension in his shoulders and allowing himself to remember Alec was right. He was not a monster. He was worth of this love.

 

It was only then, once he managed to find his peace again, safe and almost drifting off, that it hit him.

 

“About that… Let’s talk about how you know about warlocks and the Shadow World, huh?”

 

Alec blushed, sweet and decidedly not innocent, before his expression turned from sheepish to somewhat melancholic.

 

“I was a Shadowhunter once.”

 

“Was?”

 

“I was stripped of my runes. For being gay.”

 

“For…?” Magnus looked at him, shaken and confused, praying he misheard. “For being gay?”

 

Alec’s sad eyes were confirmation enough. 

 

“I have no idea when was your last contact with The Clave, Magnus, but I assure you they are still the same stuffy, prejudiced relic of old time, unable to understand the meaning of change or equality.”

 

Magnus didn’t say anything to that, instead bringing Alec closer and burying his face in his hair. Together, they stayed in for another while, not quite yet ready to leave the sweet confines of their bed, not even for coffee.

 

“Is it…” Magnus eventually broke the silence. “Is it bad I am glad you were exiled because it brought you to me?” He chuckled, before swallowing and gathering his courage before voicing what was going around in his head since day one. “But Alec, do you realise what me being a warlock means?”

 

Alec hummed, kissing Magnus chest before turning his head to look at him.

 

“That you have gorgeous golden eyes?”

 

Magnus laughed, playfully punching him in the shoulder before giving him a kiss.

 

“No, you idiot Nephilim! I love you.” He said in a softer voice, getting distracted, before sighing and turning back to the topic at hand. “No. It means I’m immortal, Alexander.”

 

Alec sighed, seeing the light atmosphere of the morning was ruined for good and sat up, taking Magnus’ hands in his, bringing them to his lips, before turning to his fiance (by the Angel, he wouldn’t get tired of this word for a long while) and saying earnestly, sincerely.

 

“Magnus. Listen to me. You’re immortal. I’m mortal. And it doesn’t matter. It’s a fact of life. It changes nothing about the love we share, and I’m not going to spend time dwelling on that, because if there’s one thing I know for sure, Magnus, it’s that I’m going to marry you and I’m going to spend every day I have on this earth making sure you’re cherished the way you deserve.”

 

As always, Alec knew how to take Magnus’ breath away.

 

“I… Need coffee. And tissues. And for you to stop being so damn perfect.”

 

Alec laughed and wiped Magnus’ tears away, and dragged the warlock out of bed for the coffee, and so their day started, sunny, bright and beautiful, because it was the first of the rest of their life.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have Twitter, find me - I am @kingabudzyn! I think I may tweet updates, so if you wanna tweet your reactions or life tweet or whatever, feel free? Maybe even do a hashtag? #MalecEEIANB  
> ...Or ignore it. I still don't know how to Twitter or do the whole people are actually reading my shit thing.


End file.
